HOW THE BUTTHOLE SURFERS SAVED CHRISTMAS

Every Butthole Surfers interview I’ve ever read has had the same theme: Boy, these guys sure are toasted! So, despite the risk of getting too personal here, I’m pleased to announce that this piece is different. This time, frontman Gibby Haynes and bassist Jeff Pinkus (who also comprise an offshoot outfit, the Jackofficers) may have been models of responsible social behavior, for all I know. I got faced.

‘Twas the day before last Christmas Eve, you see, and all through the (pre-label folding) Rough Trade offices there was a holiday party erupting. Not a boring soda-and-pizza affair, no; this was the caliber event where you wake up the nest morning holding a close-up photocopy of yourself stuffin’ muffins with someone from Accounting. Anyway, I woke up late and skipped breakfast so I could get there on time. And then, what to my wondering eyes should appear but Rough Trader Jack Sheehy, who gave me a large beer! The rest of December is a blur.

Thank God for tape recorder, Jeff got there late and leaves most of the talking to Gibby, but he was showing us the most bodacious tattoo, which he wanted you to know he got from Dave Lum in Austin, (512) 453-2089. He was in the middle of mixing a project with ex-Scratch Acid drummer Rey Washam. Fellow Butthole Paul Leary and King Koffy were nowhere to be found. And that’s all I remember.
 
 

BREAKING THE CODE

Why was this latest Buttholes album called Pioughd?

GIBBY: It’s phonetic. Close as you can get to spelling a Navajo code-talk word which means "I told you so." Know anything about Navajo code? It’s one of the few codes that have never been broken. They used it in World War II in the South Pacific. The Japanese couldn’t figure out a word of it. Each of these Navajo guys – all 20 to 25 of them – had like 50 bodyguards each, making sure they never got messed with.

Good story.

GIBBY: Thanks. Actually, I just closed my eyes, hit some keys on a typewriter, and "pioughd" came out. It looked good.

Any special reason you recorded a cover of Donovan’s "Hurdy Gurdy Man?"

GIBBY: That’s one of the first songs we ever covered. I used to play sax on it, then we stopped when my sax got stolen out of our van in New York. So we just finally got around to recording it. It was Rough Trade’s idea to put it out as a single. We aren’t what you’d call a singles band.

At least you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren you once put out a vinyl 7-inch.

GIBBY: You know, vinyl itself isn’t selling anymore. Pretty soon they’ll putting bonus cuts onto albums instead of on the CDs. I bet.

Did I hear you invoking the name of Garry Shandling on the album?

GIBBY: He’s just one of those people who haunt me. He’s echoing in my mind, so I might as well echo it back out at the world.

How do you suppose he’ll react?

GIBBY: Doubt he’ll ever hear it. I’m sure Don Henley and Debbie Gibson are too busy listening to Mojo Nixon to mess with us. He’s more noted for that stuff than we are. We kick a lot of names around on record. Some stock-car drivers and whatnot. No one complains.

You goof around with a Jesus and Mary Chain melody on "Something."

GIBBY: Yeah, that song was on our first record, and here we fit it onto this Mary Chain tune – I can’t think of their title.

Is this loving tribute, or are you gonna see ‘em in court?

GIBBY: Nah, it’s just something we did. I don’t know about label Credit. I think they have to sue us first or something.
 
 

HOUSE MUSIC: OXYMORON?

Why was the Jackofficers’ Digital Dump a house album? Are you and Jeff big house fans?

GIBBY: It’s really not a house record. It’s music being made on computers, the stuff computers do well. We’ve also used ‘em for straight stuff on Buttholes records, so our investment in that has paid off well. But this is our reaction to the term "house music," ‘cause it doesn’t sound house at all. If you play our record to people into that scene, they might not know what to make of it. It’s offset between disco and alternative guitar rock. I think a lot of people from both camps might object to it. But the response I’ve noticed has been good.

We’ve been working on Jackofficers songs for years. It’s funny what survives and what doesn’t. We’ve done performances, too. The first ones were really cool. They had nothing to do with this kind of music at all. We were in Austin, and we set up this deal where I come out of a bloody mattress while people were playing stuff and we had snths going on top of that. And at the end, [current Jesus Lizard singer] David Yow came out of the audience and cracked me over the head with a breakaway wine bottle. He’d been rattling around the place all night, acting drunk, so he was supposed to hit me over the and head and I would fall down, and we were going to launch into "Cannibal" [a popular rave by Yow’s former band, Scratch Acid], but we fucked it up totally, so no one recognized it and they all thought this was a real bottle fight. And this one guy stepped out of the audience and punched Yow right in the face! It was Yow’s ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend.

Yeah, I’d believe he’s a great act to follow. The Jesus Lizard told me they moved to Chicago because Austin is dead.

GIBBY: Oh, fuck! Gimme a break. There was a scene, but scenes come and go. They end every time everybody cuts their hair and gets a job. I’ve seen four or five different scenes happen in Austin. Maybe Jesus Lizard just don’t like the new kids There’s a definite thing happening now, a strong musical presence. It’s more fun that Chicago, that’s for sure. I can’t see why anyone would move to Chicago. It’s such a weird town.
 
 

BUTTHOLES IN AN ASSHOLE WORLD

From 1984 to ’87, you just toured nonstop…

GIBBY: Yep. Now we just tour to support each record, ‘cause we’ve got places to live. We’re settling down, like a normal band. Most people worry about having places to live before they even start a group. Like most bands have T-shirts and album covers before they have any songs.

Do you still get harassed like you did then?

GIBBY: Well, when you can afford one of these tour buses everyone’s cruising in these days, you get no problem at all. Cops think, like, Willie Nelson’s on the bus with a bunch of nekkid chicks. They won’t step in there, it’s holy ground. We had our bus totally rocked with titty dancers and everything in Salt Lake City, and the cops knocked politely on our door and asked, "Could you please turn down that Led Zeppelin?" while there’s clouds of smoke billowing out the door around me. So, I guess they respect the tour bus.

Last tour, we got fucked over in Tijuana, big-time. Ripped off on the show, money taken from our pockets, and I got badly beaten by some Federales dudes. Gave me some serious kidney punches and told me to go home. So we did.

Was this post-Matamoros [site of the devil-cult murder]?

GIBBY: Yeah. In Texas we had really vicious news coverage of that. That was some wicket shit, man. They used that kid’s spine as a ladle to stir his dick with.

Which remids me: Who was behind that Texas Chainsaw parody film of you guys that appeared on Impact video magazine?

GIBBY: Alex Winter [who portrays Bill in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and the current Bogus Journey] and Tom Stern did that. People have been trying to do videocassette magazine for a while, but the problem is that these low-level underground-video scumbags rob you blind. Alex has some great Ideas.

There’s a movie a friend of mine’s doing. I might be involved with it. Tom Savini’s doing the effects. It’s a rural kidnapping splatter story with psychedelic overtones and some social comment. Some cool people were involved, like Debbie harry and some Jim Jarmusch-type people. It’s gonna be New York-trendy/ Southern-weird. It like the Savini aspect.

Ever Met Savini? Real nice guy.

GIBBY: Is he? Is he a weirdo? Does he spark?

Sho ‘nuff.

GIBBY: Excellent!

Has your output been affected negatively by all the bullshit going on about obscenity?

GIBBY: We’ve never been hassled by the PMRC or anyone, mostly because the nastiest thing about us is our name. A lot of groups come up with such irresponsible things to say-well, maybe not irresponsible, but wilder than we are. We’re more subversive than out-and-out pornographic. You know, if you refrain from saying "fuck," just kind of skirt around it so a three-year-old could listen to it but a grown-up would know you meant "fuck," there’s nothing anyone can say.

We don’t necessarily discuss sex, but I guess many of our songs hint at something being real twisted somewhere, yet if you take it word for word it’s pretty normal. It’s like using traditional instruments to do nontraditional things. That’s subversive in itself.

We’ve gotten picketed a few times. Once, we played at this university, and there was this handsome young Tom Cruise-type guy wearing a varsity letter jacket. He was sort of …you couldn’t tell he was smart or stupid, but he was definitely the leader, and the rest of the people with him were visibly, uh, physically and mentally malformed. So he seemed like this Jim Jones character leading these retarded people around. After seeing that, I can’t imagine being ashamed of something, rather than spewing obscenities for the fuck of it.
 
 

TRUE HERBAL CONFESSIONS

At one time you used to put tons of clothespins in you hair, then shake them our at the audience when the show started. Why don’t you do that anymore? It used to shock the shit out of people.

GIBBY: My hair got too long. Past a certain length, I can’t do that anymore without taking our huge mittfuls of hair. If my hair gets cut I’ll probably do it again. It is a real blast. Just go right to the edge of the stage and [whips head] FWAP! Clothespins every-damned-where, 360 degrees of fucking clothespins.

Now I get people coming up to me, saying, "I saw you, man , you had joints in yer hair! No, I saw it, you shook yer hay-ed ‘n joints went everywhere. Ev’ryone was smokin’ joint, man, off yer hay-ed!" Every time some geek comes near me with a tape recorder, I’m afraid he’s gonna ask about "The Joint Show."

If they’re only paying regular ticket price, they can’t expect complimentary herbs, can they?

GIBBY: Not ‘til it’s legal. We’d pass out giant reefers if it was legal. God, wouldn’t that be cool?

Like a giant hookah, and everyone forms lines for a hose?

GIBBY: Yeah, Or a smoke blower, like a fog machine. Just blowing our reefer smoke. Give everybody a hit, every song. You wanna stay straight, stay in the balcony. BZZZZZZZZH!

If pot gets legalized, you know Butthole Surfers are looking at some bad-ass sponsor deals. Outstanding! Although I must say, we did a NORML rally in DC two July 4ths ago, and it was one of the most fucked up things. These people were so stoned, and their PA didn’t work, and everything sucked. All the organizers said they were going to do all these various things, then they got so paranoid one they were there. They though cops were everywhere, like, hiding. It’s too bad the people fighting to legalize marijuana aren’t taking a more sensible approach. I mean, you’re not getting any credibility with anyone if you’re too fucked up to organize a rally. That’s like giving proof-positive why they shouldn’t legalize.

They seemed fairly together this year on C-Span.

GIBBY: Maybe they learned their lesson. They’d have to convince me, though, before I’d get involved again.

Think we’ll se pot legalized?

GIBBY: In the next century, possibly. I wish they’d ban cigarettes and legalize jays. They could take liquor, too - fine with me. There are some interesting things coming our about pot, especially this book The Emperor Wears No Clothes [by Jack Herer]. He lays out some amazing facts about how useful a crop it is. And he’s standing a reward of $10,000 to anyone who can disprove him. He goes into the whole history of pot illegality, how it was outlawed to protect companies making petroleum based fibers. They wanted to wipe out he hemp grower, who could undersell oil. Hemp makes such strong fabric.

It’s the number-one crop in Kentucky. These Vietnam vets came back knowing what good herb was like, and the Reagan years have left all these foreclosed farms sitting around…

GIBBY: Dig it! Get a patch!
 
 

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!

There should be a Butthole Surfers Saturday-morning cartoon.

GIBBY: You should drink some coffee. µ